


The Misadventures of Laura Cadman

by viciouswishes



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-04
Updated: 2006-09-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:57:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3117602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciouswishes/pseuds/viciouswishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For noglove_nolove ficathon, Laura and Carson broke up over something stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Misadventures of Laura Cadman

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: delgaserasca  
> Setting: Post-"Critical Mass."

They broke up over something stupid. Something so incredibly stupid that Laura didn't even remember what they were fighting about. She just remembered Carson saying that it was over and then she went directly from being dumped to combat drills with Lorne, who'd had a bug up his ass. Laura ended up doing an extra 50 pushups. 

Laura broke out her special bottle of Kahlua for ladies' poker night. Because if anything, she was getting trashed. She only grunted at the other women when they wanted to know what exactly happened between her and Carson. Gossip always traveled light speed in Atlantis. 

After a few shots and a growing pile of chips, Laura found herself reciting the entire exchange with Carson, right down to the doe-eyed look he always gave when he was clearly wrong. 

"I can't believe he dumped you in front of his subordinates," Katie said as she shuffled the cards. She was acting as dealer tonight. 

Miko nodded in agreement and hiccupped. She'd made the mistake of challenging Laura at doing shots. "I bet he's this big." Miko held up her hand and gave a few centimeters measurement between her index finger and thumb. "Men who brag about being good lovers are often smaller than a nanite." 

Weir gave a stifled laugh, along with Kate. Even at these informal gatherings, they tended to keep a formal composure. 

Laura leaned over and wrapped an arm around Miko's shoulder, causing Miko to tuck her cards toward her chest. "Really, I think that we women just need to stick together," Laura said. "There are too many goddamn boys on this station." 

"I'll drink to that." Katie lifted up her glass, and they all downed more shots. 

Maybe that was the answer: stick to girls. Sure, Laura didn't need a sexual identity crisis at this point in her life. But turning into a big dyke sounded rather appealing. She wouldn't have to suck dick or clean up dirty gym socks or be accused of being anal about hygiene and cleanliness. First, she had to let go of Miko, who clearly kept pictures of Rodney pinned up over her bed. 

Laura looked around the table. Clearly, she was a better kisser than Katie, after the kiss in Rodney's body. Kate seemed too uptight, too much of the shrink ready to get inside her brain. Too bad the Dedalus wasn't in port, because Laura wouldn't have minded kissing Lindsey. 

That left Elizabeth. Elizabeth who probably hadn't gotten any since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy. Laura had heard a rumor that Elizabeth's boyfriend broke up with her over Atlantis. Figures. Men could never respect a woman who was interested in her career over marrying and having babies. 

Maybe that was what she and Carson broke up over. Laura still couldn't recall. 

After round two, Laura joined Elizabeth in Katie's kitchen to make more drinks. Not that she was any help. Mostly, Laura just stared at Elizabeth, watching the little pout she made when she had to jiggle the electric cord to get the blender working again. 

A very kissable pout. 

"We should get a new one," Laura said. "Or I could steal you one from the mess." She placed her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. 

"I wouldn't want to get you into trouble." 

Laura shrugged. "They'll never know." 

Elizabeth wasn't just attractive: she was hot. And when Elizabeth turned back on the blender, Laura took her chance. She leaned forward and placed her lips against Elizabeth's. 

And nothing happened. 

Laura hadn't expected this. She'd expected kissing or rejected, but Elizabeth didn't move. Laura wasn't even sure that the woman was breathing. Opening her eyes, Laura saw Elizabeth staring back at her, shocked. 

Stepping backwards, Laura bumped her ass against the cupboards. "I'm sorry, Dr. Weir," she said, turning away, wanting another drink to wash down the embarrassment. Or, even better, a move that could end her career if Elizabeth said anything to Colonel Sheppard. 

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "It's alright, Laura. It's not you. I'm involved with someone." 

"Oh." Laura felt even worse. "I won't say anything." 

"I wouldn't imagine that you would." Elizabeth reached out to turn off the blender. 

Before the next game started, Laura grabbed the rest of her Kahlua and her loot and headed out the door. 

***** 

Laura hurried as she passed the mess, not wanting to think of Elizabeth and unclaimed blenders. What was she, some sort of blender-pirate trying to woo the woman she wanted? She should just be happy with the iPod speakers she won off Miko and the pile of chocolate. Laura could get anything she wanted with chocolate. 

"Hey," Laura hissed when she felt a shoulder bump into hers. She looked over to see a flustered Rodney and rolled her eyes. "Watch where you're going, Rodney." 

"Me? And who are you, Princess Lush, the newest member of the _Candy Land_ family?" Rodney crossed his arms. "You're barely standing up and they can smell you from orbit." 

"And you just wish you weren't standing up." Laura held her candy closer to her chest. She didn't trust Rodney not to steal it. Though maybe she shouldn't be giving him an excuse to grope her while grabbing it. "It's Queen Lush." 

Rodney touched her arm and Laura tried to swing at him. But instead, she pathetically landed against his chest. It was kind of warm. 

Laura tried not to think to hard at just why Rodney was guiding her back to her quarters. Except that he obviously had his eye on her Twinkies. 

When they finally made it to the door, Laura was surprised to see that these were not her quarters, they were Rodney's. Definitely Rodney's with his Ph.D.'s hanging on the wall, reminding everyone just how smart he was. Like they needed the reminder. "You know, Rodney, a little modesty goes a long way," Laura said. 

Rodney gave her a funny look and shook his head. "Here," he said, handing Laura a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. 

"Why are you being nice to me?" Laura felt like poking him in the chest, but she had too many things in her arms. Giving up, she sat her booze and candy on Rodney's coffee table and took the clothing. "Turn around." 

"Fine," Rodney grumbled. "Not like I haven't seen it before." 

"You haven't." Laura fiddled with her pants; she didn't remember getting undressed to be this hard. "We were in your body." 

"No, we were? I forgot. I meant that I have in my life seen a woman in her underwear. In fact, military issue underwear covers more than the average bikini, so I don't understand this sudden fascination with modesty. You're the woman who-" 

"I'm done," Laura said as she straightened out the t-shirt. "You forgot that I sleep naked." 

"Again, I didn't forget." 

"Why are you being nice to me?" Laura sat down on the couch and opened a Snickers bar. "Want one?" She tossed Rodney the other one. 

"Might as well. Since there's no way in hell I'm going to want another Snickers in my life when you start puking them up." 

"I can hold my liquor, Rodney." 

***** 

Laura was certain that her mother was right when she said that misery loved company when Laura and Rodney started drinking. She'd almost sobered up on sour gummy worms and Gobstoppers and that had been too much. Rodney might've been selfish, condescending, and a control freak, but Laura had forgotten just how much she liked him. 

Rodney was telling her a story of a girlfriend he had in college who had liked having sex in public places. Apparently, even in liberal Canada, they frowned on people having sex in the bio lab lounges. "Of course, I should've guessed that I'd catch fucking someone else there. An English major of all people." 

"Hey," Laura said, grabbing the bottle from Rodney, "I was an English major. Well, double major, English and Chemistry." She sunk lower on the couch. "Relationships suck." 

"No kidding." Rodney turned his head and looked over at her. "I think the date with Katie, when you kissed her, was one of the better I've been on." 

"That's just pathetic." Laura took a swig from the bottle. She hadn't quite realized that they'd changed to whiskey, but had been wondering why her mouth felt less sweet. 

"I'm sure you're so much better." 

"Way better. A date master." That was a lie. Laura hadn't done much better than Rodney, but at least she understood people. Or she had thought she understood Carson. 

Rodney rolled his eyes at her for the tenth or twelfth time. "Maybe a masturbator." 

"God, you are so 12." Laura started giggling. If she'd been more coherent, she might've hit Rodney with a pillow. "I'm going to miss the sex." 

"Welcome to the club," Rodney said. "A station full of sexually frustrated people who can't seem to make it work long enough to get laid. Even Sheppard has to go off-world for it." 

Laura snorted. "I've never been so glad to have packed my vibrator. What? You think I brought a family memento like my grandfather's pocket watch as a personal item. Yeah, right." 

"Just think how many AA batteries Elizabeth has to order every month." 

Laura imagined Colonel Caldwell blushing cheek-to-cheek after he made the mistake of asking Weir just why that size of batteries was in such high demand. "Bring any toys with you, Rodney?" 

"Like you didn't snoop." 

"I never snoop." Laura found herself leaning closer to Rodney and their lips touching. But with this kiss, Rodney was definitely kissing her back. Very enthusiastically pushing his tongue between her lips. 

No, Laura hadn't lost it. 

Rodney was clutching her, pulling her closer. Needy, enthusiastic, and a little clumsy. 

Laura moaned, her hands griping the front of his shirt. Rodney was really a better kisser than she'd given him credit for. Fuck, she was horny. 

She tugged Rodney off the clearly too small couch, which caused him to start protesting. "Shut up, Rodney," Laura said, "and show me what you can do." 

Somehow they made it to Rodney's bed and managed to take off everything but their underwear. Rodney was a little hands-y, but the alcohol burning through her system helped Laura not to care. Especially since she was going to fuck him anyway. 

Rodney kissed his way down Laura's body. She giggled when his tongue hit her stomach. Normally, she wasn't ticklish, but with Rodney's hand racing over her, she couldn't help it. 

Laura lifted her hips enough for Rodney to pull down her underwear. She couldn't help but be charmed by his beaming grin at her exposed cunt. It had definitely been a while since Rodney had gotten some. She moved into his touch when his thumb brushed against her clit. Laura felt a new kind of heat accompany the already warmth of the alcohol. Rodney was nothing if not persistent and soon Laura was bucking against his hand, coming. 

She watched him wiggle out of his red boxers; the color reminded her of the marks that professors had put on her papers in college. Laura realized that she was still wearing her bra, but Rodney didn't seem to mind and Laura couldn't find the energy to remove it. 

As Rodney rolled the condom on his cock, he leaned up and kissed Laura. He tasted suspiciously like artificial banana and Laura figured that he'd stolen a Laffy Taffy when she wasn't looking. The sacrifice was definitely worth the orgasm. 

Rodney's mouth moved to her neck, and Laura closed her eyes. She felt Rodney's cock start to enter her. Then she felt nothing. 

Laura opened her eyes. She pushed up onto her elbows and said, "Rodney?" 

Rodney was flustered. "I...umm... Yeah." 

"Oh." Laura hadn't had this happen to her since she was sixteen, and she'd thought after a while, guys just stopped getting that excited. "It's okay. No biggie, Rodney." 

"Sorry," he said. 

Laura rolled over on her side and claimed one of his pillows. She tried not to look disappointed, but was kind of grateful in that the alcohol was catching up to her and making her yawn. She heard Rodney shuffling around behind her and passed out long before he snuggled up to her. 

***** 

Laura's heart raced. She couldn't breath; she was suffocating, trapped. Laura woke gasping for air. Unlike her dream, she wasn't in a collapsing cavern, but instead buried under Rodney. 

Shoving his arm off her, Laura finally started to breathe again. Rodney was warm and really sweaty, which surprised her considering their abruptly ended sex. 

Oh god, she'd had sex with Rodney. And his snoring was starting to give her a headache. 

Sliding out of bed, she managed not to wake Rodney. Laura dressed quickly, in her own clothes, and grabbed what little was left of her candy. Fucking Rodney. She sighed, wanting to be mad at him. 

But instead, Laura decided just to avoid him for a while. A long while. 

As she left Rodney's quarters, she figured that she should avoid the main corridors and take the stairs. She was still a little drunk. Thankfully, the Ancients had been generous with the width of their steps. 

However, that didn't stop Laura from tripping over her own feet and falling up the stairs. Her ankle hit the metal grate and her body twisted with pain. Laura winced. This was just perfect. She couldn't even properly fall down. Laura called the infirmary from her headset. 

***** 

Laura laid in the infirmary, wishing that she was dead. Her head pounded and her ankle ached. Hadn't Carson given her anything to subset the pain? At least it was dark enough. 

"You fractured your ankle," Dr. Biro said as she approached the bed. Laura had always appreciated the woman's frankness. However, with her body aching, Laura kind of missed Carson's soft eyes. Not that anyone was ever going to give her an inch for this. It was one thing to be injured while fighting the Wraith, another to fall down the stairs while escaping the morning after with Rodney. 

She groaned just thinking about how long she'd be on non-active duty and all the paperwork Lorne would force on her. 

"You should stay off this for six weeks," Biro continued as she gave Laura a shot in her thigh. Pain meds were of the good. "You're lucky in that you only have to wear an air cast." 

After a decent nap, Laura was given her hobbling papers and managed to not look Carson in the eye. She felt like he already knew about Rodney, about Weir. Everyone here knew everyone else's business, and Atlantis had everyone under surveillance. 

Officially, Sheppard gave her one week to cool down. Unofficially, she played 352 games of solitaire on the first day alone. On the second day, Rodney brought her lunch. 

Laura ate her salad, sandwich, and carrot cake, only muttering, "Thanks." She considered asking Rodney why he was here because they were so not dating. And they'd only had sex - not very good sex - once. Apparently, sharing a body hadn't improved Rodney's understanding of women. 

"Why are you here?" Laura finally asked. 

"I brought you lunch," Rodney said. They both knew that was a lie as Rodney was not the altruistic type. "I thought you might want company." 

Laura rolled her eyes. This was totally going to be one of those guy pride things. "No, I'm not going to fuck you while we're sober so you can prove you're better in bed." 

Rodney looked at her, his eyes wide with shock, but relief around his mouth. "Oh, thank god." 

Laura burst out laughing. For the first time since being humiliated by Carson, Laura felt okay and happy. Rodney might never understand women, but at least Laura knew him. "Love you too, Rodney." 

"Shut up." He glared at her. Obviously choosing to be disgusted at her unexplained outburst. 

Laura slowly kicked her legs over Rodney's lap. "How about we watch a movie? Miko loaned me _The Princess Bride_. 

***** 

"Hey, C- Dr. Beckett," Laura said as she hoisted herself up on the examination table. She'd been feeling on edge all the way here, anxious to not wear the itchy air cast and worried over just who was going to be her attending. 

"Good afternoon, Lieutenant." Carson gingerly unwrapped her leg, his face a blanket of professionalism like he'd never seen this particular leg attached to her naked body. "How's your ankle feeling?" 

"Fine," she spat back. Sure, she'd promised herself that she'd maintain her cool. But Carson had better bedside manner toward the Wraith. And his hands were cold. 

When she caught his eye, Carson looked hurt. 

"Don't give me your kicked puppy look," Laura muttered. "You dumped me." 

"Maybe you shouldn't flaunt your new boyfriend." 

"I don't have a new boyfriend." Thankfully, they were being quiet enough that none of Carson's staff had turned their heads. Well, no more than when Carson first took a seat in front of her. 

"Then what are you and Rodney doing together at every meal?" 

"He's my friend." 

"You had sex with him." 

"Yeah, I had sex with him." Laura felt like jumping off the table and storming out. But she didn't want to fuck up her ankle anymore. "We were broken up. We are broken up. So I don't see the problem." 

"Do you have plans this evening?" 

"What?" 

"I said, do you have plans this evening?" 

Laura crossed her arms and frowned. Carson had just berated her in order to ask her out on a date? "Are you asking me out?" 

"Would you say no to a romantic dinner under the stars?" Carson slipped the air cast back on her ankle. He'd obviously been calculating this for a while. It wasn't like she could escape her doctor's appointment, whereas Carson could assign patients to someone else if he really didn't want to see them. "You'll need to wear this for at least another four days." 

Laura sighed. Four more days of being cooped up. She was already seeing the results of not running every day. "I have plans," she said, standing up. "Rodney and I are re-watching the Star Trek movies and we're to V, which probably the worst of them all." She paused. "You're welcome to join us if you'd like. I can't guarantee romance, but it's pretty funny to see Rodney freak out about the impossible physics." 

Smiling, Laura turned and headed out of the infirmary. She pulled a lollipop from her pants pocket and decided to take the transporters instead of the stairs. Lorne wouldn't like it if she was late for paperwork duty.


End file.
